For those of you who don’t know me well, I used to write poetry all the time. I would write poems constantly, all over my agendas, in the notes on my phone, in various journals, everywhere all the time. I even used to recite my poems at different poetry readings in school, Barnes and Noble, etc. I’m not sure whatever happened, but I stopped writing towards the end of high school. It’s probably been 4-5 years since I really made an effort to write poetry. But today, I was inspired by the social working I’ve had the privilege of doing, and I wrote a poem. By no means is this a “good” poem, but maybe there’s a line or two that resonates with you. I hope this poem serves as a tool to help you cope or as a piece of writing you can connect with.
How do they expect you to keep standing back up,
When they’ve betrayed you, lost you, and now, searching for you?
They want me to try and keep opening up,
“We understand you now,” they rush to say, “We get you.”
They, they don’t “get” me.
They never got me.
They didn’t get me like he got me.
They didn’t get me when he left me.
They just left, too; it was “too hard” for them.
Now, they’re trying to come back,
But I don’t have much left to offer them,
Just my broken heart, left with a crack.
They wonder how I can crack jokes all the time.
I use humor to hide my feelings, just like he did.
Here I am, alone, making small steps to try and climb.
But I’m not an adult like them, I’m just a kid.
My therapist tells me they love me.
My therapist tells me I’m strong.
It’s hard to believe what she can see,
When I feel like I’ve only done what’s wrong.
She tells me that I keep coming back for sessions,
And coming back is doing what’s right.
She says I’m learning lessons,
Not giving up without a fight.
She tells me, “You have resilience.”
I smirk and ask, “Resili-what?”
She smiles, “A strong brilliance.”
Maybe I’ll get out of this rut.
Maybe, just maybe, I’ve got resilience.