Before I even entered school, I was confident and sassy. I am pretty sure I thought of myself as a princess, especially because my family often treated me like one. I thought I was amazing. That was…until I went to elementary school and met people who I instantly felt were better than me. I thought they were prettier, skinnier, smarter, the list goes on.
Ever since I was in elementary school, I have been struggling with my self-esteem and body-image. I remember comparing myself to my thinner friends, thinking of myself as fat and ugly. These feelings still come to me today, and it is a struggle for me to break away from them. The thoughts are suffocating and cruel, flooding my mind daily, especially when I look in the mirror and pick at all my “imperfections.”
I seriously dieted once before. I definitely lost weight (about 10-15 pounds), though it took quite some time. However, it stressed me out, making me irritable and anxious. I was counting weight watchers points for everything. I would weigh every food and measure every drop of salad dressing. It was not sustainable and hurt my mental health. If I ever tracked something incorrectly or ate the “wrong” foods, I would feel guilty and overwhelmed. After I stopped dieting, I gained the weight back + some more, which definitely didn’t help with how I felt about myself.
Despite that disappointment with myself, I never went back to dieting. I can be healthy and happy without counting calories or macros. I can be healthy and happy without weighing myself every day. I do not need those numbers to define me or to determine my success or failures.
In my health and fitness journey, I found that my self-esteem improves when I am moving and sticking to my promises. I noticed that I feel my best when I am being kept accountable, as my own self-motivation can be lacking. I do want to eat better, and I do want to exercise. I want those things, because I want to be healthy and avoid illnesses and diseases. I want those things, because I know that those can improve my mental health. However, my wanting of those things is not always strong enough to push me.
Today, I created a facebook group to help keep me accountable in living a healthy lifestyle. If you are struggling similarly and want to join the facebook group, click here. In the group, I challenge you to post once a day with your food intake, your workout activity, your successes, your struggles, or whatever you want! There is no right or wrong way of doing this. Posting once a day will give you a community of support and keep you accountable – and keep me accountable too! This group is NOT about weight loss – it’s about finding support and learning to love yourself.
We can own today by owning our health journey and being a support to others.